Don't force It.
Two words are often used interchangeably, but they carry very different energies: power and force. It is an important distinction because it has major implications for how we approach personal growth, leadership, and creating positive change in the world.
Power is the skilled application of effort or energy to influence people, events, or circumstances. It operates through understanding, integrity, and a grounded presence. In contrast, Force is the temporary application of excessive effort or energy to manipulate people, events, or circumstances. Force relies on violence, intimidation, and external control.
Force may seem to "work" in the short term. A tyrannical boss can bully their team into submission through threats and aggression. An insecure person can try to mask their lack of self-worth by bragging, dominating conversations, and putting others down. Even on a global scale, military invasions and oppressive regimes can temporarily seize power through brutal force.
It might work in some cases, but force is inherently fragile and self-destructive. It creates resistance, resentment, and a constant need to double down on controlling others. True, sustainable influence can never come through force alone.
Power, on the other hand, is profoundly generative. When we embody sincere wisdom, skill, and care for those around us, we naturally attract people who want to collaborate and contribute. Our leadership emerges organically because we have cultivated genuine trust and goodwill.
Let me give you a personal example. When I was young, I used to be a major control freak. When working on group projects, I tended to dominate the process with my "superior" ideas, criticize the contributions of others by always pointing out what they were missing, and frantically push my agenda out of fear that things would not turn out "perfectly." I was grossly insecure and operating purely from a place of force - and surprise, surprise, it created several conflicts, resentments, and sub-par results.
It was only when I learned to truly listen, empathize, and facilitate an environment of mutual trust and respect that I started experiencing the profound power of synergy. My coworkers felt safe to offer their full creativity and talents. I learned to integrate diverse perspectives. The final products ended up being infinitely better than what my limited vision could have ever produced alone.
And you know what? This principle extends way beyond the workplace and into how we approach every area of life - our relationships, parenting, community organizing, you name it. People can sense when we are coming from a place of domination and control (force). And inversely, they're naturally drawn to those of us who lead by example with authenticity and care (power).
This does not mean we should all turn into complacent pushovers. Having a solid sense of personal power means sticking to our ethics and being willing to challenge unhealthy dynamics. But there's a huge difference between standing our ground with compassionate integrity versus lashing out with brute force.
The path of power is ultimately about aligning our intentions, skills, capabilities, and presence to inspire cooperation rather than demand obedience. It's recognizing that we do not need to diminish or control others to effectively influence events.
True power paradoxically means having the wisdom to loosen our grip on situations and trust our goodwill and skill to naturally attract people to our vision. Force constantly has to reinforce its shaky foundation through more and more violence, manipulation, and aggression in a vicious cycle.
Pay attention to the areas of your life where you might be unnecessarily resorting to force instead of operating from a place of centered power. Notice when your fears and insecurities compel you to try to control people and situations through intimidation, aggression, or domination.
Then, dare to pause, reconnect with your deeper values, and realign your intentions and efforts with that grounded, generous energy of power. You will be amazed by how much more easily you can inspire, collaborate, and create positive change - all without resorting to the fragile crutch of force.
Success or sabotage? Power is not about how big we can appear or our ability to dominate other people. It is about using our integrity, compassion, and skills to move mountains without ever needing to resort to force.
Is this going to be an incredible day? When we surrender our need to control, we reclaim our innate power and create space for new, exciting opportunities.