Allow the Tears.

My best friend and closest companion, Rupert (my Maltese) crossed the Rainbow Bridge one month ago. We were together every day of his 18 years on this planet. I have survived the passing of both of my parents and can honestly say that this loss has been even more crushing. I did not think that was possible. Rupert was present and by my side for both of those deaths. He provided me with the love and comfort that only a dog can supply. He taught me what it was to be loved unconditionally. I will be forever grateful for the gifts that Rupert provided.

Every day in his absence has been seasoned with tears in some capacity. I am fine until someone mentions his name or asks me how I am doing. Then, without warning, the tears begin to flow. It has been uncomfortable and often embarrassing, but I am doing my best to allow the grief to move through me so that I can heal fully.

Grief is like an unpredictable rollercoaster ride. It takes you through the highest highs and the lowest lows, often leaving you feeling exhausted and emotionally drained. Love, which once filled every corner of your being, suddenly has no place to go. It is transformed into grief, often powerfully consuming your thoughts and actions.

During these dark moments, it's important to be patient with yourself. Grief doesn't follow a set timeline; it ebbs and flows as you navigate through the stages of healing. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise without judgment or shame. It's okay to laugh one moment and cry uncontrollably the next – there are no rules when it comes to grieving.

As time passes, finding healthy outlets for your love-turned-grief becomes vital for healing. Engaging in creative pursuits such as writing, painting, or photography can provide solace by channeling these intense emotions into something tangible or expressive. Getting outside, taking a walk, and allowing the sun and wind to touch your face can remind you that the world is still full of beauty. Additionally, seeking support from friends, family members, or support groups who have experienced similar loss can help ease the burden of grief.

Remember that grieving takes time; there is no shortcut or quick fix for healing a broken heart. By being patient with yourself and embracing all facets of your journey through grief - anger, sadness, joyous memories - you will slowly find a way back towards healing and rediscover how to keep that love alive within yourself even after they're gone

Success or sabotage? If you are experiencing grief, it is important to remember that it is a testament to the love that you have been awarded.

Is this going to be an incredible day? It may not feel like it at the moment, but even pain can be a reminder of the precious gift of life that we have the privilege to experience while we are still present on this planet.

Thank you, Rupert, you will always hold a special place in my heart.

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Befriend the Grief.

Grief is a strange visitor. It is something that we will all share in our own way at one time or another. It blows in like an unexpected wind, reminding us that, in many ways, our world will never be the same. At that moment, the grip of that pain can be so acute that we are left momentarily paralyzed, not certain as to what we should do to rid ourselves of its unwelcome presence.

I lost both of my parents. My mother passed away five years ago from pancreatic cancer. My father joined her the following year after battling vascular dementia and diabetes. Despite the passage of time, I have found the subsequent years to be even more challenging. Their absence is more apparent now. The vacancy of my “touchstones” seems wider, darker, and more visible than before. I often have the urge to cry. Sometimes, I do (usually in the most embarrassing of circumstances and locations). Other times, when I feel the grief building and threatening to take my breath, I press it down and temporarily overt the oncoming crisis until I time that I consider “more appropriate.”

There is no “right way” to travel this road. It is a bumpy ride, no matter which route you choose. It is important to remember that allowing the grief and finding a way to befriend it is healthy. It will not be vanquished. Repressing it will simply delay the release (providing the risk of it building to an explosive capacity where an eruption is necessary to relieve the pressure). If you can, find a friend, mentor, therapist, or spiritual adviser—a trusted soul—that will support you without fear of judgment or reprisal. It is going to be uncomfortable. It is for all of us. Grief cannot and should not be escaped. It is a necessary part of the human experience. It is unmatched in hurt and heartache and it also provides the opportunity for a deeper appreciation for all of those that are left behind.

Be gentle with yourself. You can look grief directly in the face. You may crack, but you will not break. You are not only mourning the passing of your loved one. In many respects, you are also saying goodbye to the person that you were when they were present. Things will not be the same, but it does not mean that things will be bad or worse. They will simply be different. You will find your equilibrium once again. You will adjust. Hopefully, within that process, you will find a way to honor and carry the spirit of that departed loved one with you in your most joyful moments.

Success or sabotage? To be successful humans, we must be willing to embrace all of life’s experiences, knowing that they will all serve us if we will allow them to do so. They make us who we are as individuals.

Is this going to be an incredible day? Sometimes the most valuable of days does not seem so in the short term. Sometimes we must temporarily endure the pain to build muscle.

Allow the Grief.

Grief is a strange visitor. It is something that we will all share in our own way at one time or another. It blows in like an unexpected wind, reminding us that, in many ways, our world will never be the same. At that moment, the grip of that pain can be so acute that we are left momentarily paralyzed, not certain as to what we should do to rid ourselves of its unwelcome presence.

I lost both of my parents. My mother passed away four years ago from pancreatic cancer. My father joined her the following year after battling vascular dementia and diabetes. Despite the passage of time, I have found the subsequent years to be even more challenging. Their absence is more apparent now. The vacancy of my “touchstones” seems wider, darker, and more visible than before. I often have the urge to cry. Sometimes, I do (usually in the most embarrassing of circumstances and locations). Other times, when I feel the grief building and threatening to take my breath, I press it down and temporarily overt the oncoming crisis until I time that I consider “more appropriate.”

There is no “right way” to travel this road. It is a bumpy ride, no matter which route you choose. It is important to remember that allowing the grief, and finding a way to befriend it is healthy. It will not be vanquished. Repressing it will simply delay the release (providing the risk of it building to an explosive capacity where an eruption is necessary to relieve the pressure). If you can, find a friend, mentor, therapist, or spiritual adviser—a trusted soul—that will support you without fear of judgment or reprisal. It is going to be uncomfortable. It is for all of us. Grief cannot and should not be escaped. It is a necessary part of the human experience. It is unmatched in hurt and heartache and it also provides the opportunity for a deeper appreciation for all of those that are left behind.

Be gentle with yourself. You can look grief directly in the face. You may crack, but you will not break. You are not only mourning the passing of your loved one. In many respects, you are also saying goodbye to the person that you were when they were present. Things will not be the same, but it does not mean that things will be bad or worse. They will simply be different. You will find your equilibrium once again. You will adjust. Hopefully, within that process, you will find a way to honor and carry the spirit of that departed loved one with you in your most joyful moments.

Success or sabotage? To be a successful human, we must be willing to embrace all of life’s experiences, knowing that they will all serve us if we will allow them to do so. They make us who we are as individuals.

Is this going to be an incredible day? Sometimes the most valuable of days does not seem so in the short term. Sometimes we must temporarily endure the pain to build the muscle.

Embrace the Grief.

Grief is a strange visitor. It is something that we will all share in our own way at one time or another. It blows in like an unexpected wind, reminding us that, in many ways, our world will never be the same. At that moment, the grip of that pain can be so acute that we are left momentarily paralyzed, not certain as to what we should do to rid ourselves of its unwelcome presence.

I lost both of my parents. My mother passed away three years ago from pancreatic cancer. My father joined her the following year after battling vascular dementia and diabetes. Despite the passage of time, I have found this year to be most challenging. Their absence is more apparent now. The vacancy of my “touchstones” seems wider, darker, and more visible than before. I often have the urge to cry. Sometimes, I do (usually in the most embarrassing of circumstances and locations). Other times, when I feel the grief building and threatening to take my breath, I press it down and temporarily overt the oncoming crisis until I time that I consider “more appropriate.”

There is no “right way” to travel this road. It is a bumpy ride, no matter which route you choose. It is important to remember that allowing the grief, and finding a way to befriend it is healthy. It will not be vanquished. Repressing it will simply delay the release (providing the risk of it building to an explosive capacity where an eruption is necessary to relieve the pressure). If you can, find a friend, mentor, therapist or spiritual adviser—a trusted soul—that will support you without fear of judgment or reprisal. It is going to be uncomfortable. It is for all of us. Grief cannot and should not be escaped. It is a necessary part of the human experience. It is unmatched in hurt and heartache and it also provides the opportunity for a deeper appreciation for all of those that are left behind.

Be gentle with yourself. You can look grief directly in the face. You may crack, but you will not break. You are not only mourning the passing of your loved one. In many respects, you are also saying goodbye to the person that you were when they were present. Things will not be the same, but it does not mean that things will be bad or worse. They will simply be different. You will find your equilibrium once again. You will adjust. Hopefully, within that process, you will find a way to honor and carry the spirit of that departed loved one with you in your most joyful moments.

Success or sabotage? To be a successful human, we must be willing to embrace all of life’s experiences, knowing that they will all serve us if we will allow them to do so. They make us who we are as individuals.

Is this going to be an incredible day? Sometimes the most valuable of days do not seem so in the short-term. Sometimes we must temporarily endure the pain to build the muscle.

Honor the Grief.

Grief is a strange visitor. It is something that we will all share in our own way at one time or another. It blows in like an unexpected wind, reminding us that, in many ways, our world will never be the same. At that moment, the grip of that pain can be so acute that we are left momentarily paralyzed, not certain as to what we should do to rid ourselves of its unwelcome presence.

I lost both of my parents. My mother passed away two years ago from pancreatic cancer. My father joined her the following year after battling vascular dementia and diabetes. Despite the passage of time, I have found this year to be more challenging. Their absence is more apparent now. The vacancy of my “touchstones” seems wider, darker, and more visible than before. I often have the urge to cry. Sometimes, I do (usually in the most embarrassing of circumstances and locations). Other times, when I feel the grief building and threatening to take my breath, I press it down and temporarily overt the oncoming crisis until I time that I consider “more appropriate.”

There is no “right way” to travel this road. It is a bumpy ride, no matter which route you choose. It is important to remember that allowing the grief, and finding a way to befriend it is healthy. It will not be vanquished. Repressing it will simply delay the release (providing the risk of it building to an explosive capacity where an eruption is necessary to relieve the pressure). If you can, find a friend, mentor, therapist or spiritual adviser—a trusted soul—that will support you without fear of judgment or reprisal. It is going to be uncomfortable. It is for all of us. Grief cannot and should not be escaped. It is a necessary part of the human experience. It is unmatched in hurt and heartache and it also provides the opportunity for a deeper appreciation for all of those that are left behind.

Be gentle with yourself. You can look grief directly in the face. You may crack, but you will not break. You are not only mourning the passing of your loved one. In many respects, you are also saying goodbye to the person that you were when they were present. Things will not be the same, but it does not mean that things will be bad or worse. They will simply be different. You will find your equilibrium once again. You will adjust. Hopefully, within that process, you will find a way to honor and carry the spirit of that departed loved one with you in your most joyful moments.

Success or sabotage? To be a successful human, we must be willing to embrace all of life’s experiences, knowing that they will all serve us if we will allow them to do so. They make us who we are as individuals.

Is this going to be an incredible day? Sometimes the most valuable of days do not seem so in the short-term. Sometimes we must temporarily endure the pain to build the muscle.

Allow the Grief.

Grief is an unwelcome visitor. It often comes without invitation or warning, like an unexpected wind that blows in and disrupts all that seemed comfortable. Attempting to manage it is often a futile exercise. In a moment of seeming tranquility, grief will provide a sucker-punch of a memory. We may succeed in delaying our interaction, but it will have its time with us no matter how harsh our objection. The tears will return; it will seem as if it is all starting over again.

Allow it. We can run, but we cannot hide. It will find us. It is best to simply open up to its excruciating gift.

Death invites us to become intimate with our beliefs about what (if anything) comes after. We can decide that those who have transitioned are at peace, in good company and eternally blessed. Ultimately, it does little to minimize the feelings of loss, sadness and desolation for those who are left behind.

When we feel their presence, that is them. When they visit us in our dreams, that is them. When we see their face on the neck of another, that is them. Their bodies may have parted, but their imprints on our lives is forever present.

Success or sabotage? Grieving is not a one-size-fits-all process. It may be ugly, jolting, embarrassing, inconvenient and unwelcome. It is a moment by moment challenge that must be experienced.

Is this going to be an incredible day? In the midst of the sadness, allow the tears to be a simple reminder of the love that was shared—a tribute to the influence, affect and gift that was their life. Death does not discriminate. It is the one thing that connects us all. The fact that we are here to experience it (in all of its forms) is incredible.

Breathe.