The great poet Maya Angelou famously said: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." And, I would suggest that you believe them the FIRST TIME. As you know, it matters little what people say; it is what they do that is the true demonstration of their soul.
We all have different beliefs about our existence. I am one who believes that we all have a purpose on this planet (even if you do not subscribe to that belief, I am sure that we can all agree that a life of purpose is arguably more fulfilling than an aimless existence). For this reason, it is important that we consciously manage our energy, time and attention. This means that we need to develop a heightened awareness of our relationships with others to be certain that we are always getting a return on our investment (and more important, that we are not making ourselves vulnerable to vampires). Yes, there are energetic vampires that will suck every available ounce of your energy with their hunger for personal drama, their addiction to negativity and their need to support their victim story (where they are the one that is victimized...why cannot anybody see? why isn't anyone doing anything about it?). They don't even know that they are doing it (and telling them that they are doing it would simply feed the pain, hunger, and drama that they are indicative of their story).
It's not really about them. Judging another for their behavior is natural and unproductive. We do not know the breadth of their life experience, what and who they have suffered...we only know the story as they have told it. Judging your personal intentions, needs and desires is a different story. That is OUR responsibility. We, as the CEO of our life, are responsible for deciding whom we will and will not allow into our lives. You teach someone how to treat you. With few exceptions, there are ultimately no victims.
How many times have we listened to others share their stories of woe about a friend or a lover that has abused them in a way that was similar (or exactly the same) as the last five times that they shared a comparable drama? Without excusing the possible inappropriate or inexcusable behavior of the one that they feel abused them, the fact that there is a pattern that suggests that they are, in truth, a victim by their own choice. And, if we are honest, we have to admit that this is not only the experience of those "other people," but also our own at some stage in our life.
For me, it always comes back to this: what are you trying to create? What is the evidence that suggests that you are succeeding in that capacity? What are the challenges and obstacles that you see to achieving it? How will you overcome these challenges and obstacles?
We have to decide what we will allow. We have to decide who has access/entry into our lives and the experiences that are shaping our lives. If you ignore this due diligence and simply allow things to happen without clarity and direction, you will lose energy, impair your progress and, in many cases, put your health and livelihood at great risk.
Success or sabotage? Success requires clarity and 100% responsibility. Your life is always the effect that you cause with your thoughts, words, and actions.
Is this going to be an incredible day? How will you manage yourself to be certain that you get a return on your investment?
