Ask Mark Ward

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Break the Spell.

Hello fellow perfectionists, I am talking to you—the one meticulously arranging your desk items in perfect symmetry, spending hours fine-tuning that email until it’s flawlessly worded, and running endless what-if scenarios before making your next pitch. You may not realize it right now, but you are in the clutches of a relentless captor: the illusion of perfectionism.

Perfectionism isn't just about high standards or striving for excellence; it's about an unattainable pursuit of flawlessness that holds us prisoner to its whims. It's a constant battle between the desire for perfection and the reality of our human limitations.

If you are not sure that you are caught up in this vicious cycle, there are a few questions when answered that should clarify it for you.. 

Do you find yourself endlessly analyzing every decision and second-guessing your actions? 

Are you afraid of making even the slightest mistake? 

Are you so terrified of falling short that you often procrastinate or avoid tasks altogether?

Do you constantly berate yourself for your imperfections, never feeling quite good enough no matter how much you have achieved?

Are you reluctant to delegate tasks to others because you believe that no one else can do them as perfectly as you can?

Do you see things in black and white, viewing anything less than perfection as total failure?

Overthinking, fear of failure, self-criticism, difficulty delegating, all-or-nothing thinking…these are all signs that you are under the spell of perfectionism. If any of these sound familiar, there is no need to worry. You are not alone. Many of us are fellow prisoners in this self-created dungeon of perfectionism. The good news is there is a way out.

First, we need to acknowledge that perfectionism is an illusion. It is an unattainable standard that only holds us back and makes us more miserable. Embracing our imprecations and understanding that mistakes are a necessary part of growth is the first step toward liberation.

We need to challenge our perfectionistic thoughts and behaviors. This involves setting more realistic goals, practicing self-compassion, and learning to accept ourselves, flaws, and all. It is about progress, not perfection.

One helpful strategy is to reframe our mindset. Rather than focusing solely on outcomes, we can shift our attention to the process—the journey of improvement and learning. Celebrate small victories and acknowledge that setbacks are growth opportunities, not reasons to beat ourselves up.

Another crucial aspect of overcoming perfectionism is learning to let go of control. We must accept that we cannot control every outcome and that it's okay to ask for help or delegate tasks to others. We can learn to trust in our abilities and recognize that we are capable of handling whatever comes our way, even if it's not perfect.

Finally, we must cultivate a sense of gratitude and appreciation for the journey. Perfectionism often blinds us to the beauty of the present moment, causing us to constantly chase an idealized future. By practicing mindfulness and gratitude, we can learn to find joy and fulfillment in the here and now.

Success or sabotage? Breaking free from the illusion of perfectionism isn't easy—it takes time, effort, and patience. When we learn to let go of perfection and embrace our authentic selves, we open ourselves up to a world of possibilities and true freedom.

Is this going to be an incredible day? Release yourself from the chain of perfectionism and embrace the mess that is today. By doing so, you will discover a day filled with joy, creativity, and authenticity.