Ask Mark Ward

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Manage your Worry.

I am a world-class worrier. My mind easily and habitually spins with “what-ifs,” playing every worst-case scenario in my head on a loop. Worrying is essentially rehearsing for what you do NOT want to happen as if it will somehow prevent it from occurring. Guess what? It doesn’t! One thing can be stated with absolute certainty—worry robs us of true joy and satisfaction and it blinds us to potential opportunities. It is an easy investment with no favorable return.

Think about it: when we are consumed by worry, how much mental bandwidth do we have to appreciate the beauty of the moment? Instead of relishing the moment and appreciating the gift of being alive, we get stuck in a cycle of hypothetical catastrophes. While we are busy worrying about what could go wrong, we are missing out on all of the things that are already going right.

In addition to robbing us of our joy, worry also blinds us to potential opportunities. When our minds are clouded by fear, it is difficult to see the silver linings or recognize the windows and doors of opportunity that may be standing right in front of us. We can be so fixated on the possible pitfalls that we overlook the possible blessings.

It is part of the human experience. Worry is a natural and often conditioned response to the unknown. While some of us are more practiced than others, most of us are intimately familiar with the inclination. So, what is the solution? How do we manage worry when the voices of fear are constantly echoing in our heads?  It is not always easy to recondition and reprogram our minds and behaviors, but it can be done. There are a few strategies that will help us break free from the grip of fear and worry. We can reclaim our peace of mind.

One of the most effective ways to combat worry is to continually practice mindfulness. Instead of getting caught up in anxious thoughts about the past or the future, we can learn to focus on the present moment. We can pay attention to our breath, the sensations in our bodies, and the beauty of the world around us. When we anchor ourselves in the “now,” we can effectively quiet the noise of worry and create a sense of calm.

We can examine and question the validity of our thoughts. When we catch ourselves in a worry-fueled spiral, we can take a step back with a deep breath and ask, “Are these worries based on facts or assumptions? Am I catastrophizing? Is there evidence to support my fears? More often than not, we will realize that our worries are unfounded or exaggerated. This will help us put our worries into perspective and provide greater awareness of our attachment to negative narratives.

Rather than allowing worry to consume our entire day, we can set aside a specific time to indulge in it.  Designate 15 minutes to sit down and worry to our heart’s content. Go there! Take some paper and note all of the concerns that are consuming your mind. Analyze them, examine their validity, and come up with some potential solutions. Once our worry time is up, we can make a conscious decision to surrender our concerns and, instead, focus on other things.

Worry often stems from a sense of powerlessness, but we must not lose sight of the fact that some things are within our control. Instead of fixating on the things that we cannot change, we can shift our focus to things that we can. We can take proactive steps to address our concerns and make positive changes in our lives. By taking action, we will feel empowered and less prone to habitual worry.

Finally, we can learn to practice kindness toward ourselves. A great deal of worrying is an ineffective habit that can be broken. Instead of continually berating ourselves for worrying, we can treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to our friends in difficult times.

Success or sabotage? If we desire greater success in our lives, we must remember that worrying is a costly habit that will impede our effectiveness and blind us to success even when it is knocking on our door.

Is this going to be an incredible day? Take a deep breath, and look around. Any worries that you are carrying will pass. Reclaim the blessings and opportunities of today, realizing that this day is never coming again.