Ask Mark Ward

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Use the Opportunity.

In my work as a trainer, if I receive 1 negative evaluation out of 25, I will obsess over the single rejection (even if the overwhelming feedback is positive). It is one of those uncomfortable triggers that inspire all of my insecurities to resurface, urging me to question my effectiveness as a professional and my place on this planet. If I am completely honest, I want to be perfect for all things and all people. Talk about setting myself up for failure!

This awareness provides me with some viable choices. I can set myself up for immediate defeat (realizing that perfection and acceptance by all are simply not going to happen) or I can use this as an opportunity. I can detach from the “wound” of the criticism and examine whether I can be even more effective. I can appreciate the gift of constructive feedback and seek greater understanding. What can I learn from this person’s courage in stating their critical viewpoint? How can I become more effective if I am unwilling to entertain that there is plenty of room for growth, development, and improvement? Isn’t development what I actually claim to value? If so, then feedback of any kind is helpful for succeeding in my intentions.

Consider your own sensitivities or fears. How might they be inhibiting your growth or paralyzing your progress? What are you willing to do to get out of your way?

Success or sabotage? Success, by any definition, is a process. “Failure” is a judgment that only has lasting value if it is utilized as a means of greater clarity.

Is this going to be an incredible day? Take the time to notice all of the beauty that you have already attained in your life with dreams of what ventures and discoveries still await you.