Ask Mark Ward

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Transform your Circumstances.

Pain sustains, endures and deepens at our command. We are not always aware of our power in this capacity; but, a lack of awareness or denial about the truth in no way diminishes its existence. If we wish to live a life of greater harmony and happiness, we must utilize the gifts that we have been given to transform potentially uncomfortable circumstances.

When something happens to us that is not aligned with our desires, we tend to fixate on the condition. We may ask, “why?” in response to the injustice of its arrival. We may languish in the depth of the pain and discomfort by sharing the experiences with others (in hopes that they will empathize, sympathize and nourish our angst by joining us in our misery). We rarely want to sit in this tenderness alone; so, we share it. Each time that we tell the story, we open the wound (enabling it to become bigger and more pronounced in our experience). Unconsciously, we may even begin to feed off of the loving responses that we receive when sharing our misfortune. It is human. It is normal. It is understandable. But, it is not helpful if we wish to transform the circumstance.

The life that we are living today is the result of the conditions that we set the moments that preceded the one that we are in. We are the cause; our lives are the effect. Therefore, if we do not wish to prolong suffering, we must learn to rise above the moment of distress and redirect our attention toward that which is good (that which is working—that which feels good). This does not mean that we deny the truth of what we feel. It simply means that when we are met with emotions that are in opposition to our desires, that we acknowledge them, feel them, release them and (then) focus on that which feels good. We recalibrate our thoughts/emotions so that they are aligned with our desires.

Success or sabotage? Prolonged success requires the discipline to exercise our internal power over external conditions. It is not the circumstances that will impede our ultimate progress; it is our response to them.

Is this going to be an incredible day? Thoughts precede emotions; emotions create conditions. We cannot control the day, but we can manage our thoughts about the day which gives us the ultimate power over our destiny.