Ask Mark Ward

View Original

Manage your Fear.

Fear is a friend with limited information. It receives its information from past experience and builds a database of things to be mindful of as we move through our lives. It's mission is to protect us from perceived harm and danger, but it has no understanding of the power of assumptions or growth.  Fear is not the enemy, as many would suggest. Fear is the thing that prevents us from placing our hand on a hot burner.  It is, however, "an employee" that needs to be managed.

When you are faced with fear or anxiety, check the validity of your assumptions. Do you have any facts that would indicate that your fear's counsel is worthy of attention? Just like the kid who shines the light underneath the bed to be certain there is no "boogie man," an examination of the source and validity of your fears can help you manage or dissolve its power over you.  When you examine the "validity of your fears," it is not a question of whether your feelings are valid (your feelings are always valid); it is an examination of the evidence that suggests your fears are based on sound information.  If you are going to base your actions on assumptions, why invest in the negative assumptions? Why not consider the positive and likely alternatives?

Most people run in the other direction when they are faced with fear. This is the worst possible action. By running away, you are simply giving that particular fear a promotion--to a leadership position!  Instead, shine the light in the dark place.  Understanding is the key to clarification and more effective living. 

Success or sabotage?  Are you afraid of success or failure? Are you managing your fears or are they managing you?

Is this going to be an incredible day? Take a moment to think of all of the obstacles and fears that you have overcome to get to where you are today. Do you really think that you have gotten weaker or less skilled as you have reached greater wisdom and maturity?