Ask Mark Ward

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Move beyond Pain.

If you are one that has discovered that you have a great deal of drama in your life, your natural tendency is to look outward to those things, those people, those circumstances that are the source of your ills.  Let's face it: it's much easier for us to position ourselves as victims, vulnerable to the unjust behavior of others and the obstacles and challenges of a seemingly cruel, unfeeling world. This may be your reflex--we love to defend our limitations--but it is not the most effective choice for a fulfilling life. Rather than turning outward, turn inward.  Examine your possible contributions to your circumstances and how your thoughts, words, and actions may have nourished that which you claim to despise.  Are you yourself guilty of the behaviors/actions that you abhor in others?

There are many who are unconsciously addicted to drama; they are fed by it. They are easily identified because they are always in conflict with another, always feeling victimized by another and often pontificating about the injustice that they have suffered. They will be the first declare that they have no patience for drama; yet, they will be continually surrounded by it. Even when they have the power to dismiss the people or circumstances that are causing them great pain, they will remain, feeding their unconscious hunger for drama. Eckhart Tolle describes this part of ourselves as the pain body.  It is a psychic parasite that possesses you and causes you suffering over and over again. It unconsciously feeds on pain and we are all infected.  It can lay dormant for a time and then it will reawaken to replenish its energy. FEED ME.  This is the emotional part of the ego and it needs to be managed. When you find yourself saying things to your loved ones that you know are going to incite an argument...even as you are saying it, but you still say it--that's the pain body.  

Here's my invitation for you today.  Take a little inventory. Look at your life. Are all of the pieces of your life working together in harmony or is there some discord inhibiting you from living your best life?  How do you create suffering for yourself with your reactions to other people and circumstances? Are you feeding the flames of drama?  Watch for signs of unhappiness in your life--irritation, impatience, anger, rage..a desire to hurt. Observe your attachment to pain/drama. Observe your compulsion to speak about it and to get other people involved in it, defending your justification/position.  Focus your attention on the negative feelings inside you. Don't judge yourself for them, but be aware of them. Be conscious that your pain body is at work. You cannot get beyond what you refuse to acknowledge. Ultimately, it is never about them; it's about you. Your life lived, your response to the circumstances of your life is a declaration of who you are. People and circumstances are not the sources of your pain.  It is your thoughts, emotions, and response to them that is the source of your pain and those can be changed. 

Success or sabotage?  Manage the voice and inspiration of the ego or fall victim to your own attachment to pain.

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