Ask Mark Ward

View Original

Notice your Narrative.

So often, one will be heard to say, "he/she makes me feel....<fill in the blank>."  NO. Stop fooling yourself. That is simply untrue. No one has the power to MAKE you feel anything (we are speaking emotionally here, not physically!). The natural defensive response is the justification of your emotional reaction, stating why any human being in the same circumstances would be inclined to feel the same way.  I suggest that a better use of your energy can be utilized in determining what is at the root of your emotion (not the "why?" but the "what?").

We see the world through a lens, a filter that is composed of our upbringing, environment, value system and life experiences. Each of us carries a story about ourselves that we use as the foundation for how we process information.  If we are unconscious of this story, we will fit circumstances, comments, and behaviors into a context that fits the "plot." If we believe ourselves to be <insert favorite self-criticism here>, we will find evidence to support our belief (regardless of the intention of those around us).

Notice your narrative today. What is the ongoing commentary that is running in your mind? Do you find yourself filled with on-going self-criticism? How does this narrative serve you? Write a new story for yourself beginning today. What would you like for the narrative to be?

Success or sabotage?  Success begins with your belief that it is possible for you.

Is this going to be an incredible day? Do you expect it or believe that only happens for other people?