Ask Mark Ward

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Advocate for Yourself.

When you're driving down the street, admiring the well-manicured lawns and the plush cookie-cutter homes of suburbia, remember that appearances are often deceiving.  What happens behind those closed doors is often a well-kept secret, managed by shame, complicity and fear.  Secrets can be healthy, bonding siblings and friends. They can also be toxic when the nature of the secret is considered societally unacceptable and the established rule of the family is "we don't talk about what goes on here."  

As a child, we learn very early what is considered acceptable and unacceptable forms of expression.  We may be taught to tell the truth and to honor honesty as a moral imperative, but the reality of the family dynamic may supersede the teaching. Often, the inability to freely express the outrage, upset or hurt of what is (secretly) happening within a family festers like a cancer.  When the rules of the family or society begin to inhibit you from living or telling your truth, you are a victim. Repressed secrets (those who no one will give us "permission" to share) are contained at a cost that may be greater than the repercussions from revealing the truth. 

Often, the decision to live a full life requires choices that will make those closest to us uncomfortable.  Every choice has a consequence; even though the road to success is usually bumpy and full of potholes, it is still a worthwhile journey.  Sometimes, you must have the courage to advocate yourself at (what may appear to others to be) the expense of those who are no longer aligned with your truth, values and calling.  

Success or sabotage?  Are you doing all that is required to freely live your best life?  As adults, we must be willing to rise above the victimization of our childhood and utilize it to become better-performing adults.

Is this going to be an incredible day?  Free yourself from the stories that keep you captive, knowing that truth will always (ultimately) set you free.