Ask Mark Ward

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Use your Life.

I was the insecure boy. The thin one, the premature twin that quietly watched from the corner. We moved from place to place: five elementary schools, three middle schools, two high schools, always the new kid, the strange kid, the one that had no real connection to this school, these kids, this place, any place. I was the gypsy, the drifter, only a matter of time before we moved on again. The tv was my friend, the constant...the people that were the same, comfortable companions, no matter what our location (except Japan). Eventually, I would be forced out of the den and onto the streets. My parents knew that I had to get out, so they would force me to go outside. OK, Bradys, I'll be back later.  I would sit outside and watch the kids in the neighborhood, at recess, the kids on the playground. I would figure out which one was the leader...who was the center around which the others revolved? Was it a group where acceptance was a possibility? It couldn't be the 'A' list. I was not a jock, so that would not be a good fit. Lower tiers of the popularity chain. There he is. He is the one. He is the one that I had to win over. So, I had to make it count. I had to make it work. I could not afford the luxury of failure. If I gained his favor, I would get all of the others. 

My need to succeed in very short periods of time made me an astute observer of human nature. I had lived in many different places and had managed to somehow understand the rhythm of most people, regardless of different backgrounds or locations. I would always become the one to which others confided. I was the one that became the advisor, using what I knew, what I observed to help people see where they might not be making the best choice. 

At home, the volatility behind closed doors, between my parents, inspired me to develop peace-making, negotiation skills. I was the adult in the body of a child, trying to keep his parents from killing one another--always trying (most often failing) to negotiate a better way.

I have always been a strategist. As a child, it was about survival. As an adult, it is about using what I know, what I have experienced, what I have observed, what I have learned to help in whatever way I can...to help people see that which they need to see, hear that which they need to hear, and feel that which they need to feel to remember who they truly are. 

Yes, the answers are within you. Always. But, sometimes, you need a little help to find them.

Is this going to be an incredible day? The seeds of possibility are always present (even today).

Success or sabotage? Are you going to serve your life or allow it to serve you?